Sunday, June 27, 2010

18 & Sun Baked

The need to write isn't the same need as normal.  Normally I have words running all over each other in my head causing thought traffic delays.  This is more of a pile of post its and bar napkins and various shards of paper with one liners from either me or random others.  The pile was starting to get out of control so here's a post dedicated completely to them.  I will try to give credit where credit is due and disguise some players cleverly with dark rim glasses and black fuzzy mustaches if necessary.

"Isn't it funny how things that have tails don't have butt cracks?" - Me on the subject of trust and if people had tails how much easier it would be to spot the crack pots.  You can't fake a wag and if its tucked you'd know they were up to something...you get my point.  I'm aware there is argument with the tail/crack statement but really horse-ish creatures are the only real exception that I can see...moving on.

"I'm a skitzoid and maybe I'm a man" - Said by Carter...not sure of the context...not even sure if context would matter.  Whaaatt?

"I can almost swear that I've never fucked anybody from West Virginia" - Said by Mr Man after apparently one two or seventy too many shots.  It wasn't until later that I brought a reasonable doubt to light.  He happened to live in Ohio for a questionable man whore stint.  Last time I checked it borders WV...the odds are there, that's all I'm saying.

"Heels mean  you paid for it...Tennis shoes mean you found it" - Credit to L square.  Comment on the upside down tennys I'd witnessed sticking out the passenger window of a big truck earlier that day...obvious head in traffic action.  We deduced from his cleverness that the guy had in fact just gotten lucky most likely for free.

On that note "I've never slept with a hooker" - break return from potty- amends statement "in this country" - Anonymously said.  For future argument sake if you only did it once or if said act takes place outside of the continental US you have a hall pass.

"Anybody that fights with their feet and fucks with their faces ain't for me" - Dukeism on the French.  Have to gather that he's not a fan...ya think?

"You are aware...Both of us have gone to a bar with a book in the same week."  Me to Nanner.  We are both reading some version of sex memoirs.  Chelsea Handler for me and Blanche the Golden Girl  for her who's real name escapes me at the moment.  Book exchange in the immediate future.

A very serious faced Roblet (this draws attention just in itself because let's admit it...it never happens) says "Hey guys, I've got a question for you...(dramatic pause) WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!"....deep sigh.

"Crabs don't poop...they don't even have butt holes" - An ongoing argument between me and my favorite vet.  Trust him with my furry son?  Absolutely.  But there's no way  in hell I'm gonna let him do a lobotomy on my pet crab if I ever decide to get one.

"The lack of awareness of the hotness is hotter than the hotness" - Me to Nanner(because let's not kid ourselves...who the hell else would possibly say this besides me) I was on subject of a hot Shemar Moore look-a-like that she went out with, who was a little too aware of the above mentioned hotness. (This is my general opinion of all hotness and hotness people know...you know who you are)  As it turned out for ole Shemar, hot awareness is quite counter productive....another deep sigh.

Since Roger has no real voice he has to make notable quotes best way he knows how...through poo.  This was yesterdays rather substantial poo...in the perfect shape of an 18.  I was sans camera so I found it again today.  One day of 5000 degree heat and direct sun and this is what we have...

This one comes from someone I obviously don't know or associate with...you can tell by the sheer depth of the quote that they probably don't hang out with people who photograph and share dog poo accomplishments.  "I asked for a miracle.  And I considered the possibility of another possibility." - Marianne Williamson





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