Sunday, November 30, 2008

Twisted Up Turkey Funk

The benefit I normally have is that I don't blog in the exact here and now...I normally have time to reflect and recover. And I have tendency to recover well and pretty quickly, so you at home don't get to see the unedited live version. That being said, I wrote this the day after Thanksgiving and as much as I now want to edit it out and tell my reflection time version I'm not going to. Maybe showing my struggling charm evading me side will make you appreciate the witty got the whole world by the short hairs side that you recognize me as. Then I'll give you the sorted out way I see it today.

Twisted Up Turkey Funk or you could call it the Turkey Roller coaster, whatever. Wait, let's start here....I don't like the "holidays". I don't know why but I tend to get funky...every exceptions. I haven't spent Thanksgiving with any blood kin in probably 15 years or better. Btw, my family is the only one that doesn't fall under the old adage of blood is thicker than water. Not that I'm bitter or want it different... its as much that way on my end as it is for everyone else. Just being honest. I asked Mr Man if anyone actually likes their family and wants to be around them or am I normal? He said everyone is like me, they just fake it better. Jury's still out. It's good that he's like me. Mr X was straight up his family's ass...including his Mrs X. I never got it.
My mom called wanting me to go to some family thing and I told her that I just got freed up from having to make a damn green bean casserole every year and hang out with people I didn't want to be around and that I have no intention of starting that back up. Hell they haven't missed me in 15 years...why start now.
I do have one thing that I really look forward to this time of year...the Wizard of Oz play. It was kick ass again. We forgot to bring a gaggle of parasites like everyone else but it was AWESOME.

So turkey day I spent taking Rogo to the beach and watching back to back episodes of Cold Case Files on A&E. I actually made a statement that there was no way I planned on being sober come 5 o'clock, but I was....think I only had 2 drinks all night. (and this is monumental) Mr Man spent all day on a boat and wound up like 66 miles off shore and didn't catch shit...almost needless to say he also caught a case off the Twisted Turkey. We made oyster stew and were in bed before 9:30. Made it through another unscathed.
My short term (as in month long) goal is to not jack up some perky ass in public. Skipping all xmas decorating/ partying/ etc. Not that I've ever been a fan but I'm particularly not entertained this year. Last year xmas was the last time I saw my daddy not in a hospital bed and the last time he knew me...not exactly something I want to relive. Being job free there won't be any parties to attend or presents to buy. The remaining parental unit still does not know of my current employment situation so I'm not sure how I'll escape completely. As a matter of fact I bought her and her dad a used copy of Young @ Heart to share...I'm so thrifty. It comes highly recommended from me if that counts for anything. It's a documentary about a chorus of 72-95 year olds that learn and perform rock songs. Pretty funny stuff. A couple of them die during the filming and its interesting to listen to the others take of life and death and living.
I read that you should blog on off days too. So here ya on an off day. Soak it up I don't have many.

Since this I've had plenty of time for thinking and head removal from ass. We went to a party to watch the Xmas Regatta and it was a lot of fun. We are officially spinning in a new circle of friends and it felt good. I thought today about just how much different life is today vs. a year ago. Night and day. I had a horrible horrible Thanksgiving last year...Mr X stalked around and was a general skitso...I thought I had to hold my ground and show up places that we use to go together and pee on something and everyone to mark my territory and friends while he was also there peeing on stuff too. Oyster stew and piling up on the couch with Mr Man is damn near perfect...even when we are both kinda sorta battling the Twisted Turkey Funk. The best is yet to come. I'm not swearing that I won't catch the Jackass Elf Flu though.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

501 Reasons that Unemployment Kicks Ass

So very very sorry that I haven't kept up my end of the "keep the workin' folks entertained" deal, I've been traveling. Not to mention I haven't exactly gotten any funding to help fuel my creativity from any of you we'll call that whole deal a wash.

I am so frickin' far behind on sharing the goings on of the girl that I have no idea where to start. So I'll just start with what I'm most stoked about right now and work my way around all random like. I know that's whats expected of me anyhow....why deny what you are.

Sunday is year two of the Wizard of Oz play!!! I am fully aware of my ranking of dorkness and don't give a damn. I have told every single bartender for at least the past 2 weeks. Yes, I am a bartender talker to-er. The Mr Man and myself have tickets to the afternoon show (only because that's what we went to last year and it rocked so why f with tradition). And we've also decided no beer only wine during the play...last year I missed stuff going to beer pee pee. Plus we've started drinking wine to cut back on the amount of beer and liquor. Tomato - Tomhato

So I have 2 days and I just realized I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to wear. I have over the last 2 months completely forgotten how to dress myself to not look lesbanese. And now that I've discovered fuzzy Crocs its all over. Like recently my non-lesbanese wear consists of my pink Calcutta see my concern.

Moving along. DUDE I kick so much ass you have no idea. Last week I changed the spark plugs, wires, distributor cap and rotor on my jeep. I had Mr Man guidance but didn't require but just a little actual help. I did it like a girl though...I wore gloves to keep from getting all greasy. Trust me...if I had grease under my nails at the same time as NOT wearing the pink hat...

And just for the sake of randomness...I'll leave you with a picture from Savannah. I'm pretty sure we went there in maybe late September?? Savannah is the reason that I bought my first "real" camera. I went there just to see the place and drink when I was about 22. It was a Sunday morning on River St and there was an old couple sitting at a little bistro table drinking big draft beers. She had a kercheif tied on her little white head and wore dark tourist sunglasses. I've never seen a better black & white shot. So I went home and bought a camera that cost more than my little seven dollars an hour brought me in a week. It was one of the best things I've ever done.