What have I been up to you ask??

Yes, I am still alive and kicking. Kicking shit around a rental house (literally). So back in mid March after many many attempts of getting in touch with my renters (it seems every time you are late with your Cricket phone payment they just give you a new number...convenient.) Mr Man did a 3 1/2 hour drive by to see what was up. It was no huge surprise that they had moved out without bothering to tell me. (Can you say NO DEPOSIT FOR YOU!...I feel like the soup Nazi) So, no panicking, I took 3 days off of work and we went to do some cleaning and painting. I knew they let their less than potty trained dog stay in the house during the super cold part of winter but had already sent the registered "get the dog the fuck out of the house" letter and it seemed to work ok. Um...well...NO. My best guess is that they moved because it stunk so bad they couldn't breathe in there. No shit. Well actually...I had to bust out the scrapper blade on said shit in at least 3 rooms. And here's a question for you average americans...if you say drop gum on your bedroom floor, what would you do? Nope...wrong answer...apparently you step on it and pretend you have a fucking sidewalk in your bedroom. Dude. We made it to day 2 of cleaning before we had our first gag....it was me. I was in one of the bedroom closets and had to remoisten a petrified terd and scrape it...then it came....GGGAACCCK....GGGAACCKK. I made a formal announcement that we had our first gag. It seems my gag reflex is closely associated with the visual aspect of gross ass. Mr Man on the other hand apparently is more of a smell then gagger....which happened about 15 minutes later when something he ran into behind the stove made him almost call RALPH for a ride in the BBUUICK. The good news, if you can call it that, is that the bathroom was so OMFG nasty that we didn't even attempt to clean it. Its being gutted and replaced....someone would have yaked in there for sure...and it just wasn't worth the trip to the health department or the explanation to my doctor of how I managed to contract what ever funk ass disease that was lurking in there. Again I say...Dude. Trust me...the pictures do not do it justice. And I seriously think the dog pound might smell better.

I should have taken one after I took the drawers out of the refrigerator...I had to sweep it out before I could clean it...which required the scraper (most used tool of the week). Please bear in mind that this fridge is about a year old...I bought them a brand new one instead of a crappy used one...we'll call that one hind sight. And here's the scene from behind it...how the hell do you manage to get that much shit behind a refrigerator???

So needless to say, I decided this was not a do it yourselfer...I hired a dude to do it all...he "has a guy" that can do all that he can't. So far it looks like I am into this for about 6-7 grand. (You have to factor in the long term cost of living with whatever disease I could have contracted and I'm pretty sure paying dudro is still coming out ahead.) And another needless to say...I will going about the renting game with a new Super Bitch strategy.

ps. Keeping my normal zen like even keel outlook has proven to be a bit tough. Of late, I have used a little more of the sailor talk than normal.

pss. New awesome remodel pictures to come.