Girl Update

I'm not sure how I can ROCK and at the same time be a complete doober...and no I don't have an exact definition of doober but refer to the following picture for a visual explanation. The rockin portion of me is that I blew out my bartender exam and speed test...19 drinks in 8 minutes...that must have taken all I had and all that was left was doober. OMG and I made the best f-ing chili ever tasted by man yesterday! It's called Green Turkey Chili...I know...makes your mouth water just thinking about gangrene turkey but that's all I can tell you about it because I have decided that it is now my signature dish and I can't share any details for risk of cheap wanna be girl impersonators

AND I have taken thrift to an all new level....the used dvd that I bought for 2 family members to share as the only christmas gift...well we watched it the other night. I reeeally wanted Mr Man to see it and what the hell...it was already opened. He dug it too.

I guess technically I have 2 gifts. I scanned a really old picture of me and my daddy on the beach and did some restoring or what not. I think I'm gonna have my mom open that one after I leave...it ain't gonna be pretty.

So we have really officially established ourselves in a new circle of friends...last night we were invited to a house party and a christmas day bring your leftovers and drink get together (its at our bar but it was none the less cool that everyone was making sure we were planning on coming) Its nice to hang out with people who don't know any frickin thing about you other than completely volunteered information...its nice to know that they are not a direct informational highway to an X or in my case that none of them are going to become the next bed down to said X (that's a story for another day). I'm digging the lack of agenda and freshness of new people.

Now for the visual portion of you update experience. See attached doober and then me in all my cuteness.

A Stray Stranger

So Mr Man is being all industrious and spray painting a night table for the extra bedroom when he comes in and tells me that right dead in the center of the top of it is a Roger or Carletta hair.
To which I reply"How do you know its not a cock hair?"
Mr Man: "Because its straight not curly"
Me: "Well it could be one from the butt crack...you know the constant pressure straightens them"

So goes most conversations between us...never a predictable moment.

Midweek boredom has run all up on my ass

Holy shit I'm bored tonight. And I have like 170ish drink recipes running around in my head like rabid horny squirrels...not to mention the random worthless trivia stuff that I've crammed in there for the last week and half. Good news is that I still have the capacity to piss people off by just being me. Yay! I shorted out this redneck chick today in class. She is the female version of a tool (I'm pretty sure me and Nan came up with a name for it but it escapes me at the moment) and I'm pretty glad I pissed her off...she's been wearing me out from a distance so WTF...turn about is fair play.

OMG I had another epiphany today...so after my Time for a Change blog I got a call back from the only real adult job that was still on the table. It was of course to let me know that they are going through a lot of restructuring yaddy yaddy... they would know more in 30-60 days blah blah whatever. None of this came as any surprise. The epiphany though was - Why is it that I am struggling to get my head around the idea of stepping out and making a career change?...it dawned on me suddenly...I HAVE A DAMN TATTOO TO REMIND ME TO TRUST MY INTUITION! I guess I shouldn't have put it on my back...out of sight and all.

So in my boredom tonight I made white trash...white chocolate melted over chex mix and random other stuff. It's good as hell but f-ing up my rum & grapefruit (which I have learned is not really a drink so make that 171ish drinks I know). Back in MarriedLand (not to be confused with CandyLand) the neighbor use to make this stuff and bring some over. It's good but not worth staying married over it.

Speaking of...the divorce countdown is officially in overtime. I had already vowed that I wasn't in for another dime and now I have a really good excuse. Mr X seems hot of the trail of "tying up the loose ends". My keen dog senses tell me that being "separated" past the allotted time is scaring off all of the good tail. I guess I'm, even in my absence, running cock blocker...well actually the opposite of it. Call it what you will, its about to score me a free divorce.

Well I'm going to go watch some Dog the Bountyhunter on mute. You don't know how much I wish I was kidding...

Time for a Change

I'm struggling with the grown up job scene vs. the overall shortness of time here in this human suit and the purpose of playing by the rules. I rock with algebra but this one is stumping me. It seems like the Universe is giving me big blaring blatant hints at every turn.

The real corner turner was watching my Daddy die so out of time and just shy of that ever so elusive "someday". I've been in this town for 10 years now...hard to believe, some days it feels like I just got here. But it brings the reality of exactly what 10 years feels like home to you. Mr Man has a friend that was just diagnosed with some gnarly and really advanced cancer. He's 10 years older than me. I'd be willing to bet that his last 10 years have felt as fast as mine did.

So why do we continue playing by the unwritten rules of grownup-edness? Why would I keep searching for the next job to tie me to a town that I don't care to stay in, so that I can pass another 10 years planning for my "someday". This has been a pretty big topic of conversation with Mr Man over the past several months. I think a lot of it is some drilled in belief that we all have of what success is. It always seems to involve a health care plan and 401k and if you can get to 100k in the first 2 years. I'm starting to think the safer future may be in mobility and ability to adapt and land on your feet no matter which state you find yourself.

I have a necklace called The Changer - Everything she touches changes - Everything that touches her gets changed. For years now, every time I put it on I sing this song...don't know why, just one of my weird quirks.

It's time for a Change
I'm tired of that same ol' same
The same ol' words and the same ol' lines
The same ol' tricks and the same ol' rhymes.

Days precious days
Rollin' in and out like waves
I've got boards to bend
I've got planks to nail
I've got charts to plot
I've got seas to sail

Let the chips fall where they will
I've got boats to build.

It played Saturday when we were sitting at our bar (not really ours but I think we own stock in it now) I of course told the story for the millionth time about my Changer necklace. Mr Man asked if I was ready for a change. I said "This is my change". I guess I'm just tired of fighting it. How many "successful" adult jobs do you have to loose and how many people do you have to see miss out on their Somedays before you read the writing on the wall and count yourself lucky? I'm ready to call a spade a spade. And he said to me "No two days will ever be the same and no yesterday will be as good as tomorrow." I yelled for my bartender chicky to give me a pen and wrote it down. He wowed me again.