Thursday, September 17, 2009

One Year or Eighteen...

This week marks the one year anniversary of my exit from main stream corporate america. It was one year ago today that I found out that I no longer had employment, insurance, income or security. I'm sure I was scared and freaked out, but looking back I honestly don't recall it.

This week also marks what would have been my 18 year anniversary if I'd have stayed on the merry-go-round to hell that was my first marriage. I remember more about my "feelings" from that day, I would classify it as dead between "You can't fucking tell me what to do" and "RUN!!!" Hind sight says I should have gone with Door#2, but alas I was much more of a rebel at the time vs. an intuitive decision maker. Still having a strong streak of both I am happy to inform that they have pretty much flip flopped as of late.

Daddy's birthday is next week. He would have been 64. Seems hard to believe that he's missed his last two. Time marches on...and at an alarming pace. It doesn't feel like I've been "getting by" for a year nor does it feel like I am old enough to have been old enough 18 years ago to make dumbass matrimony choices.

Looking back life is made up of warm and cold spots. The warm spots are the people and times and things that make you smile every time your thoughts drift their way. The cold spots are the idiots and stupid ass crap you cross paths with that make you seriously question if maybe your mom smoked crack when she was pregnant with you...because there's really no other logical explanation to why you subjected yourself to the shit. Fortunately and unfortunately I have a lot of both. I have to admit the cold spots only make the warm spots feel warmer. And I'm a stronger person for having survived and made my way through the tough and not so smart times.

Fast forward one year?? It feels good to know I've found a travel partner to venture down the road with, but where that will be...I have absolutely no clue...and that's Awesome. Right now?...the water is warm come on in.