Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Sky Is Beautiful...It's Not Falling

"Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary" - Steve Jobs

We witnessed some of the worst white people dancing ever a few weeks back at a Corey Smith & Travis Tritt concert.  It was almost hidden camera looking for reaction bad.  Its a widely known fact that if you can't dance, you can't fuck.  Based on that statement, neither one of them were worth a damn in the sack. I pointed out that this dude probably would be the flip someone around every possible way bad porn style.  45 positions later no one has gotten a nut. Now I for one don't dance...its not a lack of ability so much as it is choice and not for nothing in my lifestyle dancing opportunities just don't really present themselves.

Speaking of porn...Velcro has a neighbor that over the summer that had porn streaming non-stop on the bedroom tv.  We know this because we could sit on the balcony with a drink in hand and watch it.  The part that didn't make so much sense is that he would be in the living room with his feet up on the coffee table. Some how you may have become desensitized to the porn if gets less attention than the average infomercial.  There's no telling how many people in the building were ganking this dude's porn(which in my made up word world means stealing) but I'm thinking about 3 floors worth had a bird's eye view of butt sex. 

Over the past month or so I've lost all of my stability neighbors. Its strange how you draw comfort from people that you only know by first name.   I don't guess I've ever stayed anywhere long enough to out last any neighbors...I was normally the one peacing out.  The guy next door to me spent about a day moving his stuff to storage, I'd talked to him and found out that he was moving to Ohio to find work.  You have hit rock bottom when that's the best option you have.  He told me he had lost his condo.  I saw him drive away about 9:30 the next morning and around 10 the sheriffs dept was drilling out the locks with papers in hand.  I didn't know that's how those things happened.  It was a weird feeling...there was an understanding of where everyone parked.  Now I've taken over his spot. A few days later my buddy that I shared motorcycle storage with moved...then another old soul that I'd just met left about a week after that.  I wonder if it made neighbors feel weird when they saw me shelpping my stuff into my car and pulling away one last time with my dog in tow or if it took them the better part of a month to realize I was gone.   It makes me question the impact that I've had on people.  I want to ask "Are you better for having known me?"  I'm not so sure that I'd really like to hear the initial knee jerk answers from some and would maybe be disappointed that others don't remember me at all. It makes me hope that maybe the ones that got to know me see the world a little bit differently because of my quirkiness. 

The last few days here have been more like spring than winter.  I've been able to spend my morning walk on the beach with my best little buddy.  I get so much more thinking done there than any where else...except maybe on the motorcycle.  The beach though is a very visual place.  I take a ton of pictures everyday, and looking back on them you can't tell one day from another.  On the bike its different,  I'm more tuned into smells and feel of the bike.  There is so much you miss by being in a car. I always get a song stuck in my head and it plays over and over while I ride.  The vibration of the foot pegs and handlebar is hypnotic to the point that I could go to sleep.  Sunday what stood out was the smell of time it smelled just like kindling and later we passed a lumber yard that had the new green lumber smell.  If you would have asked me before that day to tell you all the smells I love wood and leather wouldn't have been on the list, but they are now.  Truth is you smell a lot of road kill too, but I tend to be more of a glass half full person.

I went outside of my norm for this election and actually registered to vote.  Somewhere in my late 20's or early 30's I was in the DMV and the lady said, "I see you are registered unaffiliated, would you like to register with a party?"  I looked at her for a few seconds and replied " You know, I want to unregister all together."  She told me I couldn't which only made me want to more.  Before I left there that day I was officially without a voice politically speaking.  I wanted no ties to any organization or group.  You have no idea how difficult it is to get your name removed from a church membership...but I got it done.  So after many years of stubbornness I decided (with some encouragement) that this was an election that needed my input.  The day of the election I put off going until mid afternoon anticipating missing the crowds.  I had a big feeling of dread...I felt like the hippie that decided to cut his hair, sell the van, get a real job and give up pot.  That somehow I had been broken.  When I got over to the school where I was supposed to vote the parking lot was full of what appeared to be white people cars.  So I said "fuck it...they got this" and went on to happy hour.  I'm sure that had South Carolina gone the wrong way by less than 100 votes I would have caught almighty hell from the boys. It seems though old men everywhere have 4 more years to bitch and moan... I wonder if old men would still be as grumpy if we didn't have 500 news channels slinging doom and gloom at us 24/7.  I haven't been able to pin point an exact age when suddenly obsessing about that shit becomes mandatory.   Amazingly, the next morning, the sun still came up and the tides are still coming and going and life carries on.   And I'm still just as happy as a girl can be.