No wit, no charm, just me struggling a bit. This luckily is something that I do well at hiding...as always. But this is my form of therapy so too bad for all of you. Two weeks ago my mom came to visit....I suppose I should address things in order of how they happen as to not appear completely random. The better part of 3 days with the remaining parental unit tends to bring my childhood raging up into my face. Makes me think of a Buffett tune - I was force fed my religion but somehow saved my smile...that really sums it up. There's a lot of shit that I don't need in life but somewhere at the top of that list is interaction with Mr X and pictures of my dad's marker. (of which the world almost crashed to an end because his family saw it before my mom....now his family exists as a separate entity) Now think what you will about me...my give a damn about people's opinions has never been very high....I have no intention of seeing this in person. Death relived is not something that I need. Then from marker pics we went to funeral flowers on the grave to OOOh look! Me & him at xmas and "you can tell he was sick then" Well no shit. He was sick for years...years that he wasn't who he was. I don't know what Picks Disease is but I know it's f-ed up to watch. I don't need memory lane to show me what's not here. Pretty sure that's not what he would want. In death we are glorified. In sickness he held any semblance of family together. The truth is, they were just alike. Him less intrusive than her but cut out of the same mold for sure. F a marker. I'll see him one day....one day if I pay enough attention I'll recognize him as he walks by me on the beach....head down, intent on finding that next slightly imperfect perfect shell. Something that religion blinds you to.
No wonder I am quite the hermit....I embrace by oddities but night #3 on the heels of full day #2 of no human interaction has me weird. Oh, well if you count getting the suspect "Do I need to come out and help you with something" from the suspicious deli lady who obviously didn't understand my aimless wondering.
On the family update....Rogo has the handsome hair cut. He's funny and leggy and narrow butthead and pink dicky when he sports the shave do. When I picked him up yesterday after said shave do, they gave me his toothbrush. I guess I never thought about it before. When you pay for the extra special spa treatment for them they don't just use a community toothbrush...go figure. I suppose that's going to add a new and interesting aspect to my life. Thank you whoever invented the dog toothbrush.
I'm a little troubled by my reversion to the norm of sitting back and planning on the proverbial "someday". When me and Mr Man went to the outer banks in the spring we came across this little tshirt shop ran by lesbanese ....found a shirt in there that had the days of the week listed...at the end it said "See...no Someday" That coupled with our recently renting of The Bucket List...you see where this is going.
Feeling like getting away...and not really interested in spending the weekend dodging Mr X and other undesirables. What the hey...when all else fails why not test your proximity to alcoholism....the weekend was not wasted. I did rake up all the mulch out of my rock/mulch/the grass wins natural area. Then dug up all the big rocks. No idea really what the f to do with them. Rocks are something you either really need or you don't. And unfortunately for me you can't take them to the goodwill like I do with everything else that falls into that category. Speaking of...I've turned a corner. The $25 white sundress that I wore @ my wedding to Mr X is officially in the "consignment" stack. Not that it couldn't be worn any ole place...I'm just in general not a sundress girl...especially when it flashes you back to a bad idea. Choosing a tank top and hat that matches is my general fashion challenge.
On an awesome note! Mr Man and I are going to see John Hiatt this week!!
"I've got nothing to live up to and everywhere to be". I may deck it out for my date and be a sundress girl.
To explain my ramblings...after days of solitude I tend to go one way or the other. Like everything else with me there's very little middle ground. I will either go all over the place and not shut up or I'm dead silent and couldn't make a sentence if my life was in peril.
Oh! Movie recommendation - Tin Man. I only saw Disc one...I don't know if it was some kind of a series or what. But instead of renting Disc two I found it on Amazon for 10 bucks and bought the set. Loosely based on the Wizard of Oz...and for those few, you know I dig the crap out of it. Mr Man took me to the play last year. It was probably the best date of my life. Ranks high on the All Time Best Life Experiences....but so do most things we do together.
Things I'm Digging Right Now-
-My new playlist
Lucky - Colbie Caillat
99.9% - Brian McComas
Roll With Me- Montgomery Gentry
Searchin' My Soul - Vonda Shepard
Old Days - John Hiatt
Life in a Northern Town - Sugarland
Galileo - Indigo Girls
Maryland - Vonda Shepard
Lookin for a Good Time - Lady Antebellum
Love Run Wild - Mulch Bros
Kerosene - Miranda Lambert
-Sunny weekends + my jeep
-My little tomato plants
-The new fountain (and the old one relocated to the deck)
-My new laundry detergent - makes my sheets smell kick ass
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to be where I have been"