4 and a half weeks. That's how long it's been since I said good bye to Roger. I wish I could say that it has gotten easier, but the truth is that it's harder now for me than initally. The gravity of permanence has landed on me and it's so much heavier than I knew it could be. Of the things that I believe in, I believe most in our souls being not fully contained in our human suits. That the bigger part of my soul (the part that remembers all the lessons I've learned in past lives) is somewhere else looking down, lending it's guidance through my gut instincts and intuition. I know that Roger is now there with "her" and that he's running around healthy and happy and she is loving on him and taking care of him just like I did when he was here with me. In that sense he is always with me and always will be. That should make me feel better...and it does but I'm just not done working through being without him. I can't tell you the number of times Velcro has held me through my tears and listened to me saying "I just want him to come back", kinda what you would expect from a child. He is the glue holding me together.
Of the other things I believe in without doubt is the Law of Attraction. Your thoughts create your reality. There is no exception. So basically right now all I talk about is what our next dog will be like and creating what I want our place to look like in the Keys. To the innocent bystander I'm sure I appear teetering on the edge of delusion but it keeps me happy and that's the entire point of us being here.
My plans are to let more of what runs around in my head out and onto paper or a screen as it is. I know from years of experience that it's what I need.
"Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now."
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