Permanent Reminder

Joy does not just happen to us.  We have to choose joy and keep choosing it everyday. (Henry Nouwen)

I decided to mark this time in my life and myself.  Inked on my foot now is Carpe Diem as a permanent reminder.  Seize the day.  Wikapedia also includes in the translation ...Trusting in the future as little as possible. Not meaning in a downer or haphazard approach to life way but as in tomorrow isn't a given...we have to make the most of right now.  A painful lesson I learned from my Daddy.  Even though he wasn't really in mind on the planning side of this one...it puts to words what I've wrestled with since his untimely exit.

It's unbelievable the relief I felt yesterday in just a few minutes and a few honest spoken words.  My ability to hide my emotions is out the door with him.  My feeling of being alone is replaced with feeling loved again.

Tomorrow will come.  Anger and hurt feelings will fade.  Relationships will heal.  I know you've heard me say it over and over...life works itself out.  The how and the when are out of our control.  All we can do is hold on and love the ones we love with all we have.  Let go of the bad...feeling scared...feeling guilty...feeling without.  It only drags us down and keeps us away from what we want.  Even when you can't, for sake of saving your own life, see a path out...there is one.