Random...more so than usual

So last night I decided to jot down the things I caught myself saying out loud to, well myself. Here's what we came up with in chronological (unedited) order. I'm sure that this wasn't all of them...I know Beaver spoke a time or two but it was before I started documenting.

"Tomorrow I may have Lucky Charms" I said and broke the silence between myself and Sailor Jerry (that'd be a rum in case I lost you there). The cat looked up but maintained unimpressed. No response from the dog.

"I can't believe I've watched an hour of this shit" About a celebrity look a like makeover that was actually one the rolling channel guide channel so you only get like half a screen. (Loser.)

"I'm pretty funny" - not sure what the hell I did to bring this one out but I made myself laugh before I said it.

"Stop sniffing that...Rocky the Raccoon was in that bush wasn't he...I'm troubled by that" really said more to Roger than myself but out loud without a human in earshot.

"Dang...I'm staggering...nice" while standing in the front yard looking up at the stars and waiting on the dog to pee.

"A trip...oh wow, I tripped and my hair fell" in response to the Tresome 24 hour body dumbass hair commercial.

"Oooo fuckin' A this shits gonna be good" about some leftover bread from work with the Promise cardiologist recommended butter stuff on it @ 12:45. I kinda missed dinner last night.

Other Randomness
I've got to google baked kidneys....I'm starting to worry that my time spent on the heating pad may be cooking my innerds. Now that I'm oh what...a 150 years old and stand for 8 hours every night my frickin back hurts so I come home and sometimes sit on the heating pad (like last night) and always sleep on it. It cuts itself off after like 2 hours but I'm thinking I could be slow roasting my organs...Is this a legitimate concern?? Or am I turning into one of those crazy f-ers like I work with??

The official oatmeal countdown is 17 remaining. To update those unaware, Mr Man bought one of those big ass boxes of oatmeal from Costco. 55 packs. 55. Me and my little twisted mind have been trying to conquer it. I have taken them out and counted wwway to many times so at 29 I wrote the number on the box and started marking it with a sharpie. So 17 after this morning. I could have this thing done by my birthday. Of course, Mr Man is never in the mood for oatmeal (imagine that) so I'm battling the sex oatmeal on my own. Until I started the new counting system I was convinced the little packs where screwing and making more little packs. I have dispelled that theory now.

I got a catalog in the mail yesterday and did an out loud YAY at the mailbox. I have pages already dog-eared and everything. I'm so stoked. Then I realized it may go along with my grocery store shoes fashion taste. Its the Bass Pro Women's collection. (Thats where I got my lesbanese camoflauge shorts that I wore like every other day last summer). So here's to more dike dressing this summer.

So this morning I talked to Nanner and told here I'd written down my outbursts last night...her comment "Let me guess, one involved a terd". See...I'm not as predictable as one may assume.

Ran across this in my journal...not sure if I've every posted it, so here ya go.
My individuality and free thinking are what make me, ME. If you are not aware of said individuality then you absolutely do not know ME. Beliefs and lack of normal beliefs are what define ME.

One Year

One year ago today I was witnessing the most horrific process of life, the end. I can still see it as if it happened 10 minutes ago. Mr Man would probably tell me that I've had a pretty good life if the safe confines of Hospice falls at the top of my worst experiences. And he would be right.

I guess I'm most surprised by just how fast this magically suspended ball is spinning and just how much can happen in what seems like no time at all. I would have been hard pressed to believe any of my current life if the future fairy had swooped in and told me. In the same breath, I realize now that I have absolutely no clue about the still just out of sight future either. We think we can plan and know and think things through but there's really no way. Jobs go away...people die before they should...the punches of the universe come when least expected and you either get the shit kicked out of you or you learn to roll. I am a self professed master roller. I just kinda keep in mind the big things I want and just keep taking the next logical steps. (Things I want = Love, happiness and getting by with what I have comfortably...not waiting for "someday" to be content.) What we really truly "need" can be compacted into the top drawer in a worn out nightstand at Hospice when it all comes to an end.

I don't think Daddy did what was the norm. He was 35 when he stepped off the path and went the way that felt best to him. It turned out to be exactly what he was supposed to do and it all fell into place. I guess even in our vast differences in beliefs, at the core we are very similar.
He was random and happy and his mind went a million miles an hour. He would finish a sentence out loud that you hadn't had the privilege of hearing the first part of. His boing-y Tigger like personality made him goofy and refreshing at the same time.

I've looked at life and the real reason we're here more in the last year than most I guess....and I haven't come to any earth shattering conclusions. I think I'll just continue my soul guided wandering at the casual laid back stride of living life in 3/4 time.

New Hair New Paint New Shoes

A picture is worth a thousand words...all adding up to the fact that I am a huge dork. I just bought shoes at Food Lion...and to make that matter even worse...I'm enthrawed with them. I made Roger sit beside them for a photo opp. You can see he is quite less than entertained...even he knew it was a cornball idea.

Noteables- The freshly stained and painted deck (the several week project Mr Man & myself have been working on)...my obvious kick ass fashion taste in shoes from the grocery store....and Rogo's new sporty sexy summer time dog hair cut, bandana and pink dick...strange how people quit asking "her" name post shave down.

Mr Man just told me to pack the cooler and make us a bloody mary...we're off to Provision Company to have the first shrimp burger of the year. Its not really a trek but no sense in getting thirsty on the way.